SCSI: very
Serial Ports: Don’t be ridiculous; it’s a rutabaga!
Sound Output: High-pitched scream when pieces inserted; ignore.
ADB: none
Ethernet: none
Machine Gestalt ID: none
PRAM Battery: none

Minutiae:

IMPORTANT NOTE:  Mr. Rutabaga Head is COMPLETELY incompatible with potatoes.

Manufactured by:
Tubers-R-Us
Rural Route 7
Starch,  Kansas 67333
Website:  www.no-spuds.com
Sales Manager:  Ralph “Old” MacDonald
Tech Support:  Dan Glickman, Secretary of Agriculture